How To Save a Broken Relationship

How To Save A Broken Relationship

All relationships have periods of uncertainty, turmoil, and turbulence. Even successful long-term relationships have conflicts. Don’t believe it when your great-grandfather says there wasn’t a single day that he wasn’t thankful for marrying your great-grandmother.

All relationships have conflict, whether people want to admit it, or not. From mild annoyances to serious stressors, a conflict can have a snowball effect on your relationship. If you don’t address the problems, they can destroy your relationship.

If you have conflict in your relationship, all is not lost. If both partners give time, effort and a little bit of patience, it’s possible to save a relationship, even if it’s severely broken. Here are a couple of steps that can help you fix your relationship.

1. Introduce Positivity:

The snowball effect of your relationship’s problems is much worse if it’s the only thing you focus on. Take a few moments, when you’re not bickering or dealing with the stressors that are building a wall around you, to do something you enjoy doing together.

If you both enjoy a hobby, find a way to bring that activity back into your life. Taking a workout class, going hiking, or taking an art course, can offer a positive challenge that will remind you and your partner that you are a great team.

2. Set Goals Together:

If you live in the past, you will kill your relationship. Instead of focusing on your past traumas and fights, start thinking about what you want your relationship to look like in the future. Then you can determine the best way to achieve those goals.

Don’t just write abstract terms like “teamwork” and “happiness.” Your goal needs to state exactly what you want; then you can plan out the steps needed to get there. If you both have your eyes on your long-term goals, you can work as allies with a sense of purpose.

 

 

3. Try to Share Your Painful Feelings, Not Just Anger:

When a person tries to defend themselves against fear, pain and hurt, one common defense mechanism is to turn those feelings into anger. Yelling and arguing with your partner, is actually a twisted way of expressing fear or hurt. Adults train themselves to repress their feelings until they come out sideways.

Anger may feel safer than telling your partner about your fears or crying, but it can cause more damage to your relationship. Sadness and fear are scary emotions. However, they’re healthy to share. Tell your partner how you feel without accusing them. Try to use the words “I” or “me,” not “you.” When you own your feelings, your partner will be less likely to feel defensive. This tips alone can save a damaged relationship.

4. Don’t Be So Serious:

Try to lighten up at home. It’s not enough to just pursue a hobby together; you need to inject some fun into your life. Challenge your partner to a sit-up or push-up contest during the commercial breaks in your favorite TV shows. Play karaoke music while washing the dishes or making dinner.

Do things to break up your routine and lighten the atmosphere. A little fun can go a long way. When you’re a place of joy and fun, it’s easier for love to come back into your relationship.

How To Stop Smothering Your Boyfriend

Smothering Him

In every relationship, one of the participants will be more prone to becoming smothering or ‘clingy’ and the other person is more aloof and independent. It’s not difficult to determine which one you are. If you’re prone to smothering, you may probably know that you were clingy for your entire dating life. It’s probably caused problems in the past.

Fortunately, some relationships are full of compromise and differences. It’s not difficult to overcome the urge to cling. However, you must acknowledge your behavior. Then you can begin to work on solving the problem. There are several tips that can help you learn how not to smother your boyfriend.

1. Leave His Best Friends Alone:

Some couples share friends, however, his longtime best guy friend. He should not become your best friend. Many clingy types always want to be around when their partner spends time with their best friend. However, this is one of the best ways to cross the line, going from loving to smothering.

It doesn’t matter how friendly and funny, his friend is. No matter how much they enjoy your presence, it’s not healthy. Your guy needs time to “be a guy,” and that’s not possible when latching onto his best friend. When he goes out with his friends, go out for dinner with a few girlfriends. Let your guy have his moment.

2. Give Him Room to Breathe:

You love your boyfriend, and he loves you, too. However, you don’t need to be in constant contact with him. Resist the urge to spend the day texting your stream of consciousness. Don’t spend your whole day texting your boyfriend.

If you want to text him good morning or want to tell him good luck at an endeavor or meeting, go for it! However, give him time to himself. If you initiate contact most of the time, pull back and allow him to call or text you first. Communication needs to be mutual.

3. Don’t Rush Your Relationship:

If he’s interested in bringing you to family events, call you his other half and go on an adventure every weekend, that’s great. However, don’t try to push him into a commitment. Don’t assume he’s going to spend each weekend on a romantic adventure. Don’t get into the habit of guilting him into inviting you to do things.

Maybe his mother sounds awesome, or you may want to meet his brothers. To him, you’re trying to worm your way into his family. It may come across as clingy or desperate. Take things slow and try to determine the best way to pace your relationship in a productive, and healthy, way.

4. Be Aware of Your Insecurities:

Many people cling to others out of fear of being taken for granted, overlooked, or left behind. Past hurt can lead to a person being afraid of abandonment. When you have the urge to cling, sit down and figure out what is driving this behavior. Why do you feel this way?

Are you afraid that he’ll lose interest in you? Do you worry that he’ll find someone else? If this is the case, step back and focus on building trust. Give him the space needed to prove himself. By doing this, you can help to improve your relationship.