In every relationship, one of the participants will be more prone to becoming smothering or ‘clingy’ and the other person is more aloof and independent. It’s not difficult to determine which one you are. If you’re prone to smothering, you may probably know that you were clingy for your entire dating life. It’s probably caused problems in the past.
Fortunately, some relationships are full of compromise and differences. It’s not difficult to overcome the urge to cling. However, you must acknowledge your behavior. Then you can begin to work on solving the problem. There are several tips that can help you learn how not to smother your boyfriend.
1. Leave His Best Friends Alone:
Some couples share friends, however, his longtime best guy friend. He should not become your best friend. Many clingy types always want to be around when their partner spends time with their best friend. However, this is one of the best ways to cross the line, going from loving to smothering.
It doesn’t matter how friendly and funny, his friend is. No matter how much they enjoy your presence, it’s not healthy. Your guy needs time to “be a guy,” and that’s not possible when latching onto his best friend. When he goes out with his friends, go out for dinner with a few girlfriends. Let your guy have his moment.
2. Give Him Room to Breathe:
You love your boyfriend, and he loves you, too. However, you don’t need to be in constant contact with him. Resist the urge to spend the day texting your stream of consciousness. Don’t spend your whole day texting your boyfriend.
If you want to text him good morning or want to tell him good luck at an endeavor or meeting, go for it! However, give him time to himself. If you initiate contact most of the time, pull back and allow him to call or text you first. Communication needs to be mutual.
3. Don’t Rush Your Relationship:
If he’s interested in bringing you to family events, call you his other half and go on an adventure every weekend, that’s great. However, don’t try to push him into a commitment. Don’t assume he’s going to spend each weekend on a romantic adventure. Don’t get into the habit of guilting him into inviting you to do things.
Maybe his mother sounds awesome, or you may want to meet his brothers. To him, you’re trying to worm your way into his family. It may come across as clingy or desperate. Take things slow and try to determine the best way to pace your relationship in a productive, and healthy, way.
4. Be Aware of Your Insecurities:
Many people cling to others out of fear of being taken for granted, overlooked, or left behind. Past hurt can lead to a person being afraid of abandonment. When you have the urge to cling, sit down and figure out what is driving this behavior. Why do you feel this way?
Are you afraid that he’ll lose interest in you? Do you worry that he’ll find someone else? If this is the case, step back and focus on building trust. Give him the space needed to prove himself. By doing this, you can help to improve your relationship.